This is all Tony's Fault!
by MortisBane
Summary: Alfred goes on board of his friend, Tony's ship. Tony stated that he can make Alfred a real Captain America, but when something goes wrong Alfred is left in a new form, and of course it's all Tony's fault. Rated T for language. Possible pairings involve, UkUs, RusAme, FrUs, and Ameripan. Please Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

Alfred F. Jones A.K.A. America, was gingerly walking through Tony, his best friend's, space ship. Apparently Tony had replicated the machine that could turn anyone into a real life Captain America. Of course there was no possible way Alfred could turn this down.

"Yo Tony!" Alfred called out walking into the largest compartment of the ship. All around him were machines, wires, lights, test tubes, it was just like a scientists lab. "Dude Tony, you sure go all out for everything!" He walked forward and up to a large closed metal tube in the middle of the room. "Whoa! This looks just like the one in Captain America! Tony, dude, this is kick ass." Just then the small gray alien made an appearance through the door holding two burgers.

"Fucking bitch?" (Want one?) He spoke.

"Hells yeah man!" Alfred walked up to his alien friend, gladly accepting the burger and scarfing it down in seconds. "So does this thing work?" He asked gesturing towards the machine in the middle of the room.

"Bitch bitch." (I don't know.)

"What do you mean you don't know?!"

"Fucking bitch fuck." (I never tested it.)

"Can't you test it real quick?! I want to try it out and become the next Captain America!" _That way the other countries can't say that I'm not an actual super hero!_

"Bitchy!" (Sure!)

"Sweet! Who ya gonna test it on?!"

"Fuck!" (You!)

"Wait, what?!" Tony then proceeded to push the American closer to the machine as it began to open up. "Wait Tony, dude, I'm not sure about this!"

"Fucking fuck bitch!" (It'll be fine!)

"Ya sure dude?"

"Bitchy!" (Yeah!) Tony stopped pushing Alfred to see if he was still willing to do this.

"Well, alright, if you say so dude." He began walking over to the machine and slowly entered it. "If this does work out then I'll be just as strong and heroic as Captain America! Well I already am strong and heroic because I AM America, but a little more couldn't hurt!" Tony moved over to the control panel in front of the machine.

"Fucking?" (You ready?)

"As ready as ever dude!" Tony nodded and began pressing buttons. The tube began to close trapping the American inside. At this point Alfred began to feel even more nervous as before, fear filled him as idea of how this could go wrong. _Stop you're a hero! Hero's don't get scared! _He reassured him self. With a deep breath he readied himself.

"Bitchy." (It's starting.) Alfred shut his eyes and cringed a little as he heard the machine power up. All of a sudden Alfred felt himself start to feel ticklish. He tried to hold back the laughter he felt welling up, but soon enough he couldn't help but let it out.

"G...God dude! T...This tickles...!" He spoke through his laughter.

"Fucking bitch." (That's normal.) As the machine continued it only tickled Alfred more and more, even to the point that his sides hurt from all the laughing, when finally there was a ding and the machine stopped immediately. Alfred took a moment to compose himself and get all the laughs out.

"Tony, can I come out now?" He spoke with a slight chuckle, and because of that he didn't notice the change in his voice.

"Fuck." (Yeah.) The machine slowly started to open up and Alfred stepped out back into the light of the lab. Tony glanced at the American and began to tremble.

"Tony, dude you alright? Did it work?" Alfred stopped now noticing the change in his voice. "Why is my voice so high?! This doesn't sound manly at all! And my mussels don't feel any bigger! Tony!" Alfred looked at Tony, who was still trembling, pleadingly."

"A...Alfred?" He spoke.

"What dude?! What is it?!"

"Bitch." (Look down.) Alfred complied and began to look down but before he knew it his glasses had fallen off his noes and shattered on the ground.

"What the fuck?! Dude my glasses! Texas! Now I wont be able to see anything!" He looked up to look at Tony and was shocked to see that he could in fact see. "What the hell? I can see?! Dude that's kick ass! Sure I love Texas but they can get in the way sometimes!" He lifted up his hand to check the clarity of his new eyesight, but he noticed that his jacket sleeve was a lot lower on his arm then it should have been, it was almost covering his entire hand. He trailed up his arm and down at his chest. There he noticed a little something that shouldn't be there. With a large gulp he moved his shirt collar and peeked down at his chest... he shrieked. Below his shirt, where he was supposed to have a toned and flat chest, he found round soft boobs.

"whatthefuckTonywhydoIhaveboobsthisshouldn'thappen I'madudenotachickandyetIhaveboobs

whatdidyoudotomegodI'mscaredohgodwhatdoIdo..." Alfred was cut off from 'his' rant by something running down 'his' face. 'He' reached 'his' hand to feel what was on 'his' and felt something wet. "Oh great and now I...I'm crying! Hero's don't c...cry..." Alfred fell down onto the floor and covered 'his' face with 'his' hands. Alfred began to sob and Tony came closer and tried to comfort 'him'

"Fucking...Fuck bitch fuck, Alfred?" (I'm sorry...Are you alright, Alfred?)

"T...Tony, I can't be a hero if I'm a girl!"

"Fuck!" (Yes you can!)

"How?!"

"Amelia Earheart Fuck bitch! Fuck Bitch fucking bitchy!" (Amelia Earheart was like a hero! And all the girl hero's in our games!)

"Well yeah, I guess..."

"Fucking bitch fuck fuck!" (How does being a girl limit your hero abilities?)

"Yeah you're right Tony!" With Her new pride Alfred jumped up with a gleam in her eyes. "But I still don't like this feeling of being a girl. Can you fix it Tony?"

"Bitch, fuck bitch fuck." (Maybe, but it'd take some time.)

"That's cool, I guess I can put up with this for a little while..."

"Fuck! Bitchy bitch fuck?" (Great! So how about some McDonalds?)

"Hells yeah Tony!" Tony nodded and left the room briefly before returning with a few burgers. "You always got some burgers stashed away don't you?"

"Fuck." (Yeah.)

"Oh and that first thing you said," She began unwrapping the first burger. "About Amelia Earheart, I think that should be like my temporary name! I had so much respect for her, I was devastated when we lost her, so this would kinda be like honoring her right?"

"Fuck!" (Yeah!)

"Yeah I like it, sounds fitting ya know?" Amelia smiled down at her alien friend before checking her watch. "Damn dude! I'm supposed to be in the middle of my video game marathon!"

"Fucking bitchy fuck!" (Well come on, let's hurry!)

"Oh no, you're not allowed! You need to stay here and figure out how to fix this!" She spoke gesturing to her body.

"Fuck..." (But...)

"No buts, later have fun!" Amelia walked away leaving Tony to work in his lab. _He deserves it, after what he did to me! Even if it was am accident! _She thought leaving his ship and walking back home. Once there she hastily grabbed a mountain of games, piles of junk food, and her softest blanket, before beginning her video game marathon. Part way through The Last of Us, where she admittedly cried during the intro, her phone began to ring. Without thinking about the consequences or checking who it was she answered, balancing the phone between her shoulder and her ear.

"Hello?" She spoke not stopping the game.

"Um, hello who is this?" A British voice came across the other end.

"It's me duh!"

"Sorry miss, but I'm trying to get a hold of Alfred, do I have the wrong number?"

"Dude, are you..." Amelia stopped talking mid sentence when a realization hit her. _I need to keep this girl thing under wraps! Can't let Iggy know! _"Oh yeah my bad! I'm ummm...his uh secretary! He's busy being an awesome hero and shit so I can take a message."

"Secretary? He's never had one before."

"Well he said that his hero duties can get in the way of work and stuff, so he needed a secretary to manage all that."

"Sure sounds like the git, anyway please remind him to be on time for tomorrows meeting, it is in his country so he has no excuse."

"W...Will do."

"Thank you dear, good bye."

"Bye." She waited till he hung up to speak again. "FUCK! The goddamn meeting is tomorrow?! How in the hell could this happen to me?!" Amelia collapsed onto her couch in a heap face directly in the cushions. "Kill me now!"

* * *

**A/N: Okay chapter 1, yay! I always think that there's not enough Fem!America out there, there needs to be more! But yeah we've got a Fem!America here and about half the world is going to be after her. I'm not sure which pairing I'm going to go with but it's either gonna be, UkUs, RusAme, FrUs, or Ameripan, you guys will help me decide! Anyway till next time!**

**Stay Wizard**

**~Mortis**


	2. Chapter 2

Amelia walked down the hallway to the world conference meeting, as always, late. But she had slept in that morning and spent a while looking for clothes that could cover up her new chest. She settled on a baggy white hoodie with sweat pants, she had the hood up as well to make sure no one saw her, now longer, hair. She walked slowly, dreading entering the meeting, and she was nervous beyond belief. Slowly however she made it to the door and opened it as quietly as she could.

"America, you're late! And what are you wearing?!" Germany screamed as loud as possible. She didn't dare speak knowing they would recognize it as a woman's voice. She kept her head down and walked to her normal seat between Canada and England. "Why are you late?!" She only shrugged her shoulders in response before grabbing out her papers. She could tell that her silence shocked the other nations, but she made no attempt to look at any of their faces. "Fine whatever, we can finally start this meeting! Poland you're up first, give your speech."

"Like totally awesome!" Poland called out jumping from his seat to the podium showing off his new skirt.

"Not as awesome as the awesome me!" Prussia shouted when he made it up there.

"Burder, get out!" Germany muttered angrily.

"But west..."

"Now, you're not even a country!" Prussia stood up and left mumbling about how he's too awesome for them anyway. When Poland started his speech England leaned over to talk to America.

"What in gods name are you wearing?!" He whispered harshly. America paid him no mind and just tried to hide her face from the other. "Alfred, answer me!"

"England! Quiet!" Germany shouted interrupting Poland.

"Sorry, sorry." When Germany turned his head back to his papers and Poland continued his speech England leaned over one last time. "We'll talk during break." Amelia hoped for the first time in her life, that break would never come.

Unfortunately for her it did and the moment Germany announced it she took off out the door ignoring England's cries of,

"Get back here Git!" She ran towards the restrooms and paused. _"Which one do I fucking go in?!" _She thought looking back and forth between the Men's and Woman's restrooms. Deciding that it would look suspicious if she walked out of the Woman's she ran into the Men's and locked herself in the nearest stall. _"This is bad, this is very bad!" _She thought bringing her legs up onto the toilet seat as she sat on the top compartment. _"I just need to get through the next two and a half hours and I can go home and ignore the rest of the world! Maybe Tony will have a way to fix this by the time I get home!" _Before she could whip out her phone and call Tony she heard the bathroom door open and someone walk in. Remaining still and making zero noise she hoped the person would just wash they're hands and leave. Hope can only go so far.

"Alfred-san, are you in here?" Kiku called out walking in further. _"No not Kiku, he can hear a fucking pin drop!" _She slowed down her breathing and made sure it was extra quiet to throw him off.

"I can hear you breathing Alfred-san." _"What the fucking hell?! God damn man!" _Resorting to a last resort tactic she spoke, as girly as she could manage.

"I'm sorry but I think you're in the woman's restroom." She crossed her fingers and hoped to god he would buy it.

"Alfred-san, you can't fool me that easy." _"Damn him and his sensing the mood!"_ "Please come out, what's wrong?" Amelia found the fact that he cared so much for her a little cute but she ignored the thought and tried to think of a way out of this. She heard his footsteps grow closer to her stall as he opened each door checking them. While looking around for some heroic way of escape she never noticed her phone slipping out of her pocket, until it hit the floor. Her heart stopped and Kiku's pace increased towards her. Amelia isn't an idiot as some people call her, she knows when to keep going with something and when to cut her losses.

"Okay fine, I'm coming out." She called out stepping off the toilet and unlocking the stall. She grabbed her phone off the floor and stepped out to meet the Japanese man.

"What is wrong with your voice, and why do you appear shorter?" He asked her. She only looked away not wanting to speak. "Please Alfred-san, tell me what's wrong. We're friends right?" With a sigh she looked back at Kiku and decided what the hell.

"You should be calling me Amelia now."

"What? I'm confused." Without hesitation she moved to remove the hoodie causing Kiku to blush madly. She took it off leaving her in the tank top under it that did nothing to hide her new chest. Kiku began to stutter as his blush deepened further.

"W...what is t...this? I...I'm confused Alfred...err um Amelia...I..."

"I'm a girl now."

"H...How?!"

"It's all Tony's fault! He messed up with his stupid machine and now I'm a chick!" Kiku still looked very confused and his blush never faded. "You gotta keep this a secret! Promise!"

"O...okay Alfre...Amelia-san, I promise."

"Good! Thanks!" She moved over and gave Kiku a hug, normally hugs would make him feel awkward, but this time he felt down uncomfortable.

"Um...Amelia I can feel your breasts..." He spoke his blush going even deeper, if it was possible.

"Get over it!" She pulled away to look for her hoodie just as the door to the restroom opened.

"~Ve but Ludwig I want pasta for lunch!" Feliciano called out to his German friend.

"Then why didn't you make any?" Ludwig replied obviously annoyed.

"Because I thought there might be a good restaurant we could go to near by." As the two talked Kiku took the time to shove Amelia into the stall before they were all the way inside the door.

"Oh, hello Kiku." Ludwig spoke noticing the smaller nation.

"Hi Kiku!" Feliciano called making a run to glomp him.

"Please don't." He stepped out of the way last second causing the Italian to fall to the ground.

"Ow! Luddy!" Ludwig blushed at the nickname but kept his stern face on.

"Get off the floor, it's dirty." Feliciano began to stand up but something caught his eyes first.

"Who's that in the stall Kiku?" He asked standing up and pointing.

"Um..."

"Hey, wasn't this the hoodie America was wearing earlier?" Germany spoke reaching down and picking up the white hoodie from the ground. "Is he in there?" Kiku began to feel nervous as did Amelia, with last second thinking Kiku snatched the hoodie and threw it over the stall door to Amelia. Moments later she walked out with the hoodie on and the hood up.

"S...Sorry, my throat is really scratchy." She spoke in the deepest voice she could.

"Well answer my question from earlier, why are you wearing this?"

"I was rushing out of the house this morning, wasn't paying attention."

"Whatever, Italy! Hurry up in here I'll meet you outside!" Ludwig walked out and Italy went inside one of the stalls.

"I'm going to go, I need to talk to you after the meeting." Amelia told Kiku.

"Hai." With that she left the restroom and looked for another room to hide in till the break was over.

With her first stroke of luck all day, Amelia was able to male it through break and the rest of the meeting without anyone else finding out her sudden gender switch. She did notice Kiku watching her through most of the meeting, can you blame him thought? Having your best friend suddenly change gender is a shocking thing and hard to get over. Once the meeting was over she snagged Kiku and pulled him aside.

"Okay dude, could I like go home with you? I know that people are going to be showing up at my place with questions, namely Arthur and Matt. Please dude?!" She asked pleadingly.

"O...Of course Al...Amelia-san." Kiku replied.

"Oh man thanks!" She quickly hugged him and went to collect her things. While she did so she didn't notice the tall figure approaching behind her.

"Hello America" She froze and turned to see the tall creepy Russian behind her. "You haven't forgotten something have you?" She shook her head no and hurried up with her things. "What about a meeting?" She shook her head again and closed her brief case. "America, a month ago there was a meeting planed for us and our bosses to meet at my place proceeding this one, clearly you couldn't have forgotten that, could you?" Amelia stiffened and that nervous feeling returned again.

"Of course I remember! But ya see I'm sick, that's why my voice is weird so I can't make it this time. I'll be going with Kiku for some tea to help with my throat!" She replied again trying to make her voice deep.

"I've seen you work in much worse conditions, plus your boss is already there waiting for us, I'm sure you don't want to make him upset by not attending." _"Shit, that would be bad if I pissed him off! My head still hurts from the last time I pissed him off." _

"Is there anyway we could reschedule?"

"Sorry, no." She cursed under her breath but reluctantly agreed to go.

"Fine, just let me get all my stuff together and talk to Kiku."

"I will be waiting with a taxi up front." With that Russia left and Amelia felt like she was going to scream. _"Gad dammit! Why does life hate me so much?!"_ She gathered her stuff together and trudged out of the room only stopping when she passed Kiku.

"Going to have to cancel, I'll be stuck with Ivan for the next couple hours." She whispered.

"Good luck." He replied and she continued out of the building. _"Fuck you life, cold hearted bitch!"_

* * *

**A/N: Chapter 2 up and rearin to go! And earlier at mention of her head hurting because of her boss, that would be because he hit her, like back in world series, Black Ships Have Come, where his son of a bitch boss hit him over the head. Also still don't have a pairing to go with on this story, better review and tell me whatcha want!**

**Stay Wizard**

**~Mortis**


	3. Chapter 3

Amelia walked out of the front of the world meeting building and saw Ivan beside a cab waving her over. She trudged over to him and he opened the door for her.

"I'll take your briefcase, da?"

"Um, no." She got into the back seat with her briefcase and shut the door behind her. After a moment he opened up the door on the other side and got in. The car started up and took off down the road, Amelia just laid her head against the window, staring out as buildings and other cars began to wiz by. After only five minutes her eyes began to feel heavy and drooped slightly. She yawned and tried to shake off her sleepiness, staying up late for that video game marathon was a bad idea. She opened her slightly wet eyes as wide as possible before allowing them to drop again. _"I'll just rest my eyes a little so I can stay awake for this gay meeting." _She thought closing her eyes. In moments she was asleep.

When Amelia woke up she was lying in a bed, a soft warm bed. At first she didn't want to open her eyes, she tried to go back to sleep when suddenly she remembered. Last place she was, was in a cab... with Ivan. Her eyes shot open and she sat up swiftly before looking around the room in a panic. She was in Ivan's bedroom, she had only been there a few times before usually to try and steal the commie's secrets during the Cold War. She scanned the room seeing no one was there and relaxed before searching for her phone. She found it laying on the night stand next to the bed, but before she could grab it someone spoke.

"I see you're awake _Alfred._" Amelia turned to the door to see Ivan standing there arms crossed. The tone he used to say her old, no normal not old, name sent shivers down her spine and not in a good way.

"Um...yeah..." She answered back trying to deepen her voice. Ivan walked closer dropping his arms to the side as he got closer, and the closer he got the more intimidating he got.

"_Alfred,_ when did you become a woman?" He asked bluntly making Amelia's faced turned dark red and her to heart stop.

"W...What are you talking about?"

"Look down." Hesitantly she looked down and paled to see her hoody was missing.

"W...Where's my hoody?!"

"I took it off while you slept so you would not get hot, but apparently you were hiding something, _Alfred._"

"Look it's not what it looks like!"

"Oh so these are not breasts?" He asked moving forward and grabbing one with his hand. Amelia squeaked, in a totally heroic way, and swatted his hand away before covering her chest while she blushed madly. "I suppose they are."

"Well the thing is..."

"What you magically changed gender, or more likely you're an imposter." Amelia thanking the heavens for an excuse to ride on that wouldn't ruin her entire life, went with the second one and put on an evil villain act.

"Okay so you caught me, yay for you." She began making her voice normal and girlish.

"Where is Alfred." He snarled back at her.

"Locked away in a cold dark dungeon, he's probably dying as we speak, alone, tired, cold, and sad. Ivan's usually calm creepy face changed drastically into one reflecting pure rage.

"Tell me where he is or you will die." Amelia, not noticing how bad the situation was becoming, only smirked, you can't kill me, and if you do you'll never know where he is and he'll die!" Ivan sprang out his hand clasping it around her neck before leaning in closely to her face.

"I can figure it out, da?" Finally noticing how high the situation had escalated, Amelia widened her eyes in surprise at the Russian.

"You're not going to actually kill me are you?"

"Da." Amelia grabbed Ivan's wrist with her hands trying to pry it away as he began to close his hand around her neck slowly.

"I...Ivan..." She tried breathing becoming a little difficult. "I...I'm lying, I don't have Al...Alfred locked away in a dungeon...He's fine! It's me!"

"How can I trust you?"

"I am Alfred I...Ivan!"

"Liar!"

"O...Once on your birthday I...I took you to my place and...we went to a sunflower field...You were so h...happy you had hugged me, and made me swear not to tell a soul about it!" Ivan loosened his hold on Amelia's neck but didn't retract it.

"He could have told you that."

"One time at one of my Christmas parties, one I had invited you to, you had actually gotten drunk and after everyone had left you kissed me mistaking me for a giant bottle of Vodka. I held that over your head for about a year and a half before you found a way out of it." Ivan removed his hand entirely allowing Amelia to breathe fully and he took a step back.

"Alfred?"

"Yeah it's me..."

"How did...this happen to you?"

"Tony messed up with this machine he made and it somehow changed my gender." Ivan still looked confused but nodded in response.

"So these are real?" He took a step closer but Amelia shielded her chest again before he could even reach out.

"Yes they're real now don't touch them perv! She screamed blush returning. Ivan stepped back and returned his creepy smile.

"I am the perv, if you do not want them to be messed with why wear such tight reviling clothing?"

"Because they keep them from moving, and I _was_ wearing a hoody, emphasis on _was_."

"Oh yes, sorry for that, but it is hot here due to the heater."

"Whatever just give it back please." Ivan nodded and moved towards the chair by his desk and pulled the white hoody off of the back of it.

"Here." He handed he the hoody which she snatched quickly before putting it on.

"Thanks."

"So what do you plan to do in your new condition?" Amelia looked down at her hands that were playing with the sheets beneath her.

"Just try to keep my dignity while Tony finds a way to fix this."

"Will you tell everyone?"

"No way in hell!" Amelia snapped her head up swiftly and looked up at the Russian. "And you better keep that big creepy mouth shut, ya hear?!"

"Da, I will keep your little secret, Alfred."

"Good! And you should call me Amelia now."

"Like Amelia Airheart?"

"Exactly!"

"Alright. But Amelia I think maybe you should reveal yourself, I rather like you as a girl."

"W…What?!"

"Da, now you seem much weaker, and I like that you are much smaller now too, also…" Ivan was cut off by a foot jetting out directly at his shin. He stumbled backwards and brought the injury up to hold it.

"Dammit woman!" Ivan let the throbbing cease before charging back towards Amelia.

"Be happy I didn't aim higher, what was that about being weak?! Just cause I'm a chick doesn't mean I can't still kick your ass!" Ivan walked directly up to her and grabs a fist full of her hoody collar before raising her so they were face to face. "You wouldn't hit a girl would you?"

"Try me." The two glared at each other for a moment before they burst into laughter. Ivan released Amelia as she clutched her stomach and continued to laugh.

"Dude…that was awesome!" Amelia spoke in between laughs.

"Da, like when we would fight before." Ivan chuckled back.

"Those were great times." Amelia slowly stopped her laughing and wiped a few stray tears from her eyes. "Man I haven't laughed like that in a while."

"Neither have I."

"Alright well anyway dude, that whole meeting thing is over isn't it?"

"Da."

"Then I'm out of here, the more time I'm not at home the higher the chance I'm going to get caught like this." Amelia stood up out of the bed and slipped on her shoes that were next to the bed along with her briefcase. "I'll get myself a taxi, and I suppose a plane ride home." Amelia made a move towards the door, but was stopped by the taller Russian pulling her into a hug.

"Why don't you just stay here? It's late, besides we were having fun." Ivan asked not releasing her.

"Um, I should get home to check on Tony, why would you want me here anyway?"

"Because for once we weren't fighting, I don't want to go back now." Amelia felt a little awkward in the situation but hugged him back anyway.

"I guess I'll stay the night if you really want me to." Ivan pulled away and looked down at her with what appeared to be a genuine smile.

"Great! I will begin preparing dinner; I know you like to eat." Ivan released her entirely and walked out the door and down the hall.

"What's gotten into him?"

* * *

**A/N: Yo what's up?! I'm back finally with a new chapter! Yay! Enthusiasm! Bit of plot stuff happening and stuff so…yeah! Anyway I'm going to be updating A LOT less frequently, I have Marching band going on which takes up lots of time and school's starting soon, but I'll try my hardest to update. Please review and I'll hopefully see you soon!**

**Stay Wizard**

**~Morits**


	4. Chapter 4

Amelia walked out of the room and went to join Ivan in the kitchen while he cooked.

"So whatcha makin'?" She asked leaning on the counter.

"Rassonik. It's a type of soup from my home, very common."

"Is it good?"

"Very."

"Alright." Amelia looks up at him as he goes about making the soup, he doesn't seem focused on it however, his thoughts appear to be elsewhere. "Whatcha thinking about?" Ivan jumps at the blunt question and a slight blush covers his face.

"Nothing, just considering what to put in the soup."

"Oh..." Amelia knew that wasn't it but she didn't feel the need to pry. She moved over and sat down at the kitchen table and laid her head in her arms.

"You tired?"

"A little I guess, past two days have been stressful."

"Maybe you should just go to bed then."

"And pass up food, no way!" Ivan chuckled and continued to prepare the food. A few minutes of silence passed by before Amelia felt the need to break it. "Hey what's up with you?"

"What?"

"Usually you hate me and are always picking a fight with me, but now you're begging me to stay the night and you're making me dinner, why the sudden change?"

"You know I've never actually hated you."

"what? No way dude you like hate my guts!"

"Maybe during the Cold War yes, but that is the past, da? I actually wanted us to be friends."

"Really dude? Well we could be friends."

"You mean that?"

"Of course! Now hurry up with that food, my hero stomach is hungry!" Ivan chuckled and went back to making the food with a genuine smile on his face.

After dinner Amelia decided to go strait to bed, Ivan offered no argue. However half way through the night there was a timid knocking at Ivan's bedroom door. Reluctantly Ivan slipped out of the warmth of his bed and went to open the door.

"Da?" Through tired eyes he could vaguely make out Amelia standing there a pillow clutched tightly to her chest.

"H...hey dude you must be like so scared right now and all..."

"Of what?" As an answer to him a loud clap of thunder sounded and Amelia squeaked in fear.

"O...of that, you know being the total h...hero I am I came to make sure you were protected and all so could you like let me in?" Ivan stood for a moment comprehending what she said before he understood the problem.

"Oh Da, I was completely terrified. So good you came to help me, why don't you sleep in my bed to uh, protect me?"

"R...right great call dude, I got you covered." Amelia walked into the room but just as Ivan shut the door another clap of thunder sounded and Amelia leaped towards the closest thing, Ivan.

"Let's get to bed."

"Y...Yeah." The two climbed under the covers with space between them but it wasn't long until more thunder made Amelia cling to Ivan's arm and tremble. Ivan simply wrapped his other arm around her trying to make her feel safe. Soon she was asleep yet she never loosened her tight hold on his arm. Moring came and Amelia woke first only to the sound of her cell phone ringing in the other room. She quickly released Ivan's arm, which she didn't realize she was clutching, slipped out of bed and walked into the other room.

"Hello?" She asked into the phone.

"America! Where in gods name were you yesterday?!" It was her boss. "We had that meeting planed for over a month and you don't bother to show up?! Do you know how embarrassing it was for me to show up and you not?! I've put up with many things from you but here is where I draw the line! Of all the things…"

"Uh sir wait!" She spoke quickly shifting her voice to sound more like a man. "It was an accident, I did try to go, I wet with Russia himself! But I fell asleep and he didn't wake me up and…"

"Save it, I don't want to here your excuses. Just get back here; I have paper work for you to make up." Amelia sighed but agreed before hanging up and beginning to pack up her things. When she had all of her belongings she went to go check in on Ivan. He was sound asleep and she didn't want to wake him. She just wrote a note, leaving it on the counter and walked out the door. A few hours and a plane ride later Amelia made it home finally.

"It's about damn time, sitting on a plane with a crying baby for god knows how many hours is too much that eve I can take!" She complained once opening up the door. "Tony, you home dude?" She was met with the silence of her huge empty house. "He better be working on fixing this in the back yard." She made a move towards the backdoor but as she passed her office she heard her fax machine. Stopping she walked in checking on the documents coming through, it all looked like paper work and there was a lot of it. Then the last paper came out and this one looked like blank printer paper, but then there were words,

"Do Them **NOW!**" It read. With a frustrated sigh Amelia grabbed the stack of papers and set them at her desk as she began working. Later that night Amelia was face down on her desk fast asleep, with almost all of the paper work done. Then, however, she was startled awake by the door bell ringing and a timid knock. She shook her head awake ad took a glace down at the nearly finished work o her desk before walking out to answer the door. She grabbed hold of the door knob and slowly opened the door.

"Konichiwa Amelia-san."

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**A/N: He you miss me? Well I'm back…finally. I don't plan to leave you guys ay time soon so get used to me! Please review ad keep telling me what pairing you want, I'm going to introduce each possibility before I decide on one to build on..(And maybe ruin) Anyway please review and as always,**

**Stay Wizard**

**~Mortis**


	5. Chapter 5

"Konichiwa Amelia-san." Kiku stood on the other side of my door with a bag in his hand.

"Oh, hey Kiku." I replied with a smile opening the door wider. "What brings you here?"

"I had called before hand but you didn't pick up, I figured that you would want to relax after all this stress you must be under. I've brought some of my new games." He held up the bag and inside Amelia could recognize game cases.

"Oh my god seriously?!"

"H…Hai."

"Dude this is awesome! Get in here man." Kiku walked in and Amelia led him through to the living room. She spent time over the years to deck the place out, giant plasma TV, surround sound, and the best gaming chairs she could find. "Whatcha got?" Kiku puller out a decent stack of games and Amelia attacked them looking through each. "Dude which do we play first?!" Her eyes glittered as she looked across each game and when she turned her gaze to Kiku he blushed and turned away.

"I…I was thinking maybe this one." He reached over and grabbed one holding out for her.

"Oh I've heard of this one, let's do it!" Amelia went about setting up the game system so the two could play and Kiku sat quietly in one of the chairs.

"Um, Amelia?"

"Huh, yeah?"

"Did you ever consider getting new clothes to fit your uh, new build?"

"No way in hell am I wearing woman clothes!"

"I understand it may be embarrassing but, those clothes are meant to fit."

"No dude, I won't! I refuse to wear frilly little girls clothes!"

"They're not all frilly…"

"Dude lets just have some awesome dude time and play this game!"

"Okay…" Amelia grabbed two controllers and plopped down in the chair next to Kiku before handing him his own controller. The game started and the subject was dropped. The next few hours were spent playing the random assortment of games that Kiku had brought. About five games and two pizza's later Amelia finally felt exhaustion on her.

"Man am I…tired." She spoke with a yawn.

"Do you want to go to bed?"

"N…No way dude, I can keep going." She picked up the controller only to have it fall back down out of her grip.

"Amelia-san, it is late you should get some rest."

"But dude…"

"It is three in the morning right now."

"Seriously?"

"And if I recall last time you stayed up late there were issues." Amelia shivered at the reference her friend had made before reluctantly agreeing.

"Y…Yeah I guess you're right, I'll go to bed." She stood up and stretched her arms over her head, making Kiku turn away again before moving towards the steps.

"Wait," Amelia stopped to turn to him. "Why don't you sleep on the couch so you don't have to walk up the stairs?"

"I was gonna have you crash on the couch."

"I already am staying at a hotel near by."

"Are you sure you don't want to hang here?"

"I've already paid my money."

"Well alright, I'll crash on the couch, it's easier this way anyway."

"I'll grab a blanket."

"Nah you're my guest I insist."

"Just lay down Amelia-san." She was going to argue further but as another yawn hit her she just chose to lay on the couch. Kiku returned shortly with a blanket which she took it happily. Not long after that she was snoring lightly on the couch.

"I'm sorry for this Amelia-san." Kiku turned towards the stairs and moved up to her room. With a sigh he went to work, no matter how embarrassing. After he was finished Kiku snuck out of the house being sure not to wake Amelia and left back to his hotel.

When Amelia woke up the next morning her neck and back were stiff and she felt something sticky on her arm. Looking down she discovered it was pop from last night, and not only was it on her arm but over her clothes too.

"When the hell did this happen?!" She basically screamed. "…Oh yeah…" After the realization dawned on her she removed herself from the couch and up the stairs. "Imma take a nice long shower." Amelia removed her clothes taking a moment to inspect her new form before jumping in the shower; she tried to avoid the new parts she had as she scrubbed off the sticky pop. After she finished she dried off with a towel and wrapped it around her body before moving to enter her room. She noticed that it was cleaner than the last time she had been in there, there weren't any of her clothes she usually kept laying on the floor and the pizza boxes and two liters were gone too. Shrugging it off as Tony trying to say sorry she moved to her dresser to get some fresh clean clothes. She opened the underwear dropped and she froze. Slowly she reached in and pulled out a black bra. The scream that flew out of her mouth was neither happy nor human. She began scouring all of her drawer only to find every article of clothing she ever owned had been replaced by women's clothes. She then flew to the floor looking for any of her dirty male clothes, even under her bed there were none.

"What the hell?! Where could all of my clothes go and why do I only have girl clothes…Kiku!" Her furry raged as she raced out of her bedroom and grabbed her phone. She dialed Kiku's number quickly and held it up to her ear as each ring added to her anger. Finally he picked up with a very quiet and nervous hello.

"You son of a bitch! How dare you replace all of my clothes with girls! How the hell do you expect me to hide this and plus why the hell would you force me to wear woman's clothes?!" She continued to rant and spew curses at Kiku all the while he remained silent on the other end waiting for her to be finished. "Are you even listening?!"

"h…hai, I'm terribly sorry Amelia-san but I couldn't let you go around without the proper clothes, when a meeting comes around I will give you your old clothes to wear for it but until then you must wear the right clothes."

"Who do you think you are?! You can't choose what clothes I wear you have no right…"

"I'm sorry Amelia-san but please get dressed, I'll bring clothes over in a few days for the next meeting." He then hung up leaving Amelia with her blood still boiling and the need to have Kiku's blood on her hands. She called back but was instantly sent to voice mail, she tried another ten times before giving up and chucking the device at the wall.

"Goddamn son of a bitch!" Amelia gripped the back of the couch tightly letting her knuckles turn white. She tried to calm down enough so that she didn't look like she was about to kill someone, she needed to not look psychotic when she got in the first taxi that would take her to every hotel looking for Kiku. But to get a taxi she would need to be wearing cloths which meant she would have to put on the woman's clothes, that just made her angrier. There was a knock at the door, she tried to ignore it and calm down but it soon turned into a loud banging and muffled shouts from the other end. She stormed down the steps and over to the door before opening it fast enough to rip it off its hinges.

"What?!" She couldn't contain the shout or the look of pure pissedness on her face but suddenly her blood ran cold as she saw who was on the other side. Arthur was at her porch step trying to look away as his face was completely red. Amelia looked down only to noticed that her towel had fallen of a while back and now she stood naked with a woman's body as the cold air outside dusted around her.

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**A/N: Guess who's here, did you guess Arthur? If you did than you're a fucking mind reader! Or just a reader… Anyway here's the next chapter, hope you had fun.**


	6. Chapter 6

"I…I'm sorry, have I interrupted something, I didn't know Alfred was busy with someone…" Amelia's face turned bright red and quickly she hid herself behind the door. "M…May I step in after you've…clothed yourself."

"S…Sure just uh, give me a minute." She slammed the door and raced up the steps. She went over to her dresser again and reluctantly grabbed some clothes to put on. It took her a minute to figure out the bra, she would have gone without only it would look weird if he noticed. The bra fit well and it was only a little tight, she supposed that a 34C was a bit too small. She threw on a navy blue t-shirt and a pair of jeans before going back downstairs to let Arthur in. He was obviously relieved to find her with clothes on though he still wouldn't meet her eye.

"I uh, take it Alfred is getting dressed as well?" This left Amelia with two choices one, go with pretending to be her own lover or two, fess up. There were upsides and downsides to each decision, if she lied it could turn out as bad with Ivan or worse, or Arthur could flip out and tell the world he's a chick. But if she did tell him the truth maybe he could help, he's always on about his magic, maybe that could help, but she's also never believed a lick of his magic, if she lies it might turn out okay. Her mind raced and she just couldn't make a decision. Fate chose for her. In this instance fate was Tony.

"Fucking bitch." (Amelia, I've made progress.) The two turned to see the gray alien walk in with a screwdriver in one hand and a burger in the other.

"Tony?"

"What the hell it that thing doing here?!"

"Fucking Limey." (Fucking limey.)

"Tony dude you need to go."

"Fuck?" (Why?)

"Just seriously dude, keep this," She gestured to herself, "Under wraps."

"What are you referring to?" Arthur asked suspicion leaking into his voice.

"Fucking bitch, fuck fuck!" (Tell him, maybe he'll have a heart attack and die!)

"Tony!"

"What are you talking about, keep what 'under wraps'?"

"Uh,"

"Bitch Fuck! Fucking bitchy." (Tell him! I'll give you a burger.)

"But…" Tony and Arthur continued to talk back and forth pestering Amelia to tell Arthur the truth, despite how much she didn't want to say it she snapped and it spilled out anyway.

"Fine you wanna know?! I'm fucking Alfred, ya happy?! And it's Tony's fault by the way, ya happy I said it, huh Tony?!" She looked between the two, Tony looked ashamed and Arthur looked both shocked and confused.

"How in the bloody hell could you be Alfred?"

"Tony's machine fucked up and I changed genders, don't try to explain how because that's impossible."

"You are honestly Alfred?"

"Yeah…"

"Does anyone else know about this?"

"Ivan and Kiku…"

"How…?"

"Accident and I had no choice."

"And you told me…"

"Because the two of you wouldn't shut the fuck up!"

"Fuck…" (Sorry…) Amelia looked over at Tony and her rage died a little.

"Sorry dude, but you were totally pissing me off."

"What do you propose we do now?"

"I have no fucking idea, Tony should be fixing the thing to put me back."

"Fucking bitch! Fuck bitchy." (That's what I wanted to say! I've made progress.)

"You have?! Baddass what is it?!"

"I'll never get how you can understand him."

"Shhh!"

"Fuck, bitchy bitch fucking bitch!" (I've isolated the malfunction in the machine and I can work sould on the error itself.)

"Dude I didn't understand any of that."

"Fuck bitch bitchy fuck." (I found the problem so now I can fix it.)

"No way that's awesome! Get cracking Tony, the faster you're done the faster I can get Florida back and we can celebrate!"

"Fuck!" (Right!) Tony turned around and went back out into the back yard.

"What was that about?" Amelia turned to Arthur who seemed extremely confused at this point.

"Tony knows how to fix the thing now."

"Well you can't rely on technology, they make mistakes. I can fix you right up with some good ol' black magic."

"Uh dude, I don't think…."

"Nonsense, come on!" Arthur grabbed Amelia's hand and made a run for the door.

"Dude you're insane!"

"Trust me I always know what I'm doing!" Amelia had no way to stop the crazed Brit, other than decking him in the face, so she just let herself be dragged and flung into his car.

"You are way too excited."

"Just happy to prove to you wankers that my magic is real!" Amelia sunk deep into her seat as a sense of dread consumed her.

"Dude, please don't do this."

"You don't want to remain a woman do you?"

"Tony can fix this."

"Wasn't it him and his technology that started this?"

"But he knows why and can fix the problem, that's how technology works."

"But magic is so much faster." Amelia knew she was fighting a hopeless battle, Arthur was just as stubborn as she was and there was no way she could convince him otherwise. She thought of bailing but when she grabbed the car door handle it was locked. When they arrived at Arthur's hotel Amelia stepped out very reluctantly, she thought of running but figured that she would look too stupid. She closed the door and followed Arthur inside and over to the elevator.

"Hai, I would like to transfer my reservations to another of your hotels." Amelia's ears perked at the voice, she knew that overly polite voice anywhere. "Why? I...I just don't want to stay at this specific hotel." Amelia reeled around and in fact saw Kiku standing at the front desk talking to the receptionist.

"Kiku!" She screamed and bolted towards the small Japanese man. He turned and sidestepped just in time to avoid her attack.

"H...How did you find me?" He asked backing away slowly.

"Dude I am going to kill you." To the other guest at the hotel this must have been a sight to see, one extremely pissed off woman trying to slit the throat of a small terrified Japanese man, some were filming.

"I'm sorry Amelia-san, but I couldn't have you embarrassing yourself by wearing improper clothing."

"I can't hide this from anyone anymore, eyebrows over there knows now."

"Hey!" They both ignored Arthur and continued the stand off.

"I didn't intend to do that, I just couldn't stand by and…"

"You could of, if you really tried."

"Alfred could you stop this?! You're drawing too much attention." Arthur called out but he only managed to enrage Amelia further.

"No this little son of a bitch is going to make it too fucking obvious that I became a damn chick!"

"Alfred!"

"What?!" She turned around entirely ready to deck him in the face like she should of half an hour ago only to find the entire world standing in the hotel lobby stunned and staring at her."

"Alfred you're a girl?"

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**A/N: And I've been gone forever and this is all you get...deal with it, I've been really busy but maybe in two weeks I can start updating more regularly.**

**Stay Wizard**

**~Mortis**


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